Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
