I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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