In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
