Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Can I color on your dick again?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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