The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
