Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
