walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
And then he peed in my hair
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