Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
