Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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