i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
