That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
