i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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