do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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