it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Everyone says I win the strip club
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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