ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
