Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
