Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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