I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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