I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
