So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
