i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
