I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
