I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
