Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
