Your mouth is God's brothel.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
