i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He shit in the fireplace
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize