wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
it was like eating out sand paper
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize