awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize