How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
