Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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