My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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