please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
