no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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