cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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