I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
