Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
