bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The power of my boobs compel you
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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