I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
