What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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