At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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