she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
