Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
