Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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