This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
