his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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