I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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