I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
