Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
