Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
