we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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