he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
