I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
