im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize