Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
