I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
