I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
